Back in California

I returned to California four days ago after 16 hours of traveling. I have never felt as happy as I did when the plane touched down in San Francisco. I managed to get quite sick on both flights due to my inheritance of a weak stomach, so I was wobbly getting off the plane, but what really made my legs weak was seeing my cousin Carrie waiting for me at the end of the terminal. I knew I was going to get emotional when I saw her, but I didn’t know I would hang onto her and cry because I was so happy. It was a great feeling! I spent a few days in San Francisco with my brother and cousins catching up and getting familiar with a few neighborhoods that I would like to live when I move there in a couple months. I came back to Sacramento on my birthday and then celebrated my mom’s graduation from Sac State with all our friends and family. It was a wonderful occasion to return home to and I was so happy to see everyone.

On my long travels, I had a lot of time to reflect on my experiences in London. Many people warned me that I was going to feel sad and withdrawn when I got home because I would be missing everything I was leaving behind. And I believed them saying this because I know myself and I know how I can get when leaving things behind. I used to get so sad and depressed every year after summer camp as a kid because I couldn’t accept having to let go of all the wonderful friends I had made in the short amount of time. But so far I have not felt this at all. I was so happy to be back in San Francisco. I am thrilled to be around people I love and occupied my time by wandering the hilly streets. It’s been a perfect place to let my thoughts run wild and embrace all of the memories I have created the last 6 months. I feel so different than I did before I left which feels great because I feel so much more in touch with my feelings and clear about my emotions. Things that seemed foggy or unclear before now seem in grasp and manageable. I am so happy about everything I have ahead of me for life, and I am so eager to get working on all the stuff I have been postponing the last few months.

I want to tell you about one person who has had the strongest impact on me on this journey of mine. His name is Chris Burrett, an English gentleman. This man came into my life while I was working at Green and Blue wine bar. He was a regular who frequented the weekend brunches and would sit for hours with his books and newspapers. I struck up conversation with him about what he was reading, John Steinbeck, one of my favorite authors, and highly appropriate for me to comment about since most of his stories took place in California. Once we got to talking, it was hard to stop! I wanted a chance to hang out with him more so I invited him to a movie. We saw How to Lose Friends and Alienate People which turned out to be a perfectly fitting comedy about a dorky, awkward English guy falling for an American girl. Chris was a perfect gentleman on our date and continued to be the next few times we went out. It was a new thing for me to meet someone I could talk about everything with, even the typically controversial stuff, and have no issues, arguments or hang-ups. After getting to know me a bit, things sprung into overdrive quickly, and Chris was determined to give me the best “London” experience possible. He knew all the best places to take me, and went out of his way to spend as much time with me as possible while he had me in the UK. I can’t describe how lucky I felt to meet someone who was so interested in making my experience better and making sure I got the most out of it as possible.

Now that I am home Chris and I have been keeping in touch, but things have also gotten a lot more realistic. We are both being honest about the fact that our relationship took place on very different circumstances where I was on a vacation mindset and he happened to have a lot of time to dedicate to me. Now that we are apart, it is easier to see that those circumstances would not necessarily be repeated if we continued to date in the future. I have a lot of things in my own life that I am working on figuring out about myself and my future, and he understands that I need space and time to work a lot of those personal things out. So in the meantime we plan to stay close and continue to visit each other when possible, and no matter what, his influence on my life remains a very important and valuable part of my overall experience. I know my life in London would not have been the same without him and his companionship. He enabled me to have a clear head about things and to come home positive and excited about my life, rather than stressed out and anxious about things to come. In fact, I believe his presence helped me to avoid a lot of those feelings of apprehension and depression that everyone said I should prepare myself for after a long time of being away. So for that and everything else he was for me, I thank him and hope he knows how important he is to me and how much I value him as a friend and want that continue throughout years to come. Maybe he will come to California someday so you all can pick on his funny English accent and get to know his bitter, sarcastic sense of humor.

I am so excited to see everyone and have a chance to tell you all about my journeys, big and small. I am glad I have been able to write this blog while I was traveling so that you all have some idea of the adventures I went through. I had such a nice time writing it that I may keep writing it for some time to come. While my oversees voyage may be over, my life exploration is far from it, so from time to time I will write on here to keep everyone posted on the direction my life is heading. But for now, I am happy to be home with my family and am ready to enjoy Christmas with the people I love most.